I saw an Instagram post the other day that said something along the lines of, “if you are applying to colleges right now, don’t worry so much. There is a little thing called transferring.” It made me laugh because of how simple and common sense-ical it is and yet, so many put so much pressure on themselves to find their perfect school when in reality, you just don’t know what it’s like until you get there. ESPECIALLY in these COVID times.
At the end of the day what matters is doing what will make you happy. I know that sounds cheesy but it’s true. Don’t stay in a place that isn’t making you progress. Don’t go to a party just because you feel like you have to. Don’t get dinner with someone because you feel like if you don’t it will cause drama. We are adults! There is no time to waste. Do what makes you feel like you are moving in the right direction.
Let’s take a look at some people’s thoughts on their transfer or gap year experiences.
“The feeling of not knowing what to do next while simultaneously disguising my not-so-amazing semester through Instagram posts had taken a toll on my anxiety. And you know what? THIS IS NORMAL! I wish people talked about this more, because I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way and it’s so comforting to hear people say that. That brings me to today. I’m still very unsure of how to approach my next semester while also trying to maximize my time at home….I’m giving my school another chance. Maybe rushing will help. Maybe there will be more opportunities to meet people...There’s still so much that can turn things around.”
Oh, the freshman year Instagram posts. I think we are all guilty of partaking in that scheme. Gosh all I did was take pictures for the first few months of school. We get it! You are at college! You are staying up past your bedtime! I think we all get a bit carried away. With that being said, once my year started to take a turn, I stopped posting on social media and stopped going on it altogether. It was hard for me to see other people having such a good time, or at least, to see other people making it look like they were having such a good time. In terms of that last part, I commend you for going into the semester with an optimistic attitude. Before transferring I would definitely recommend trying to check off every single box that you can at your old school, so that you can tell yourself that you tried everything. Club sports? Check. Newspaper? Check. Rushing? Check. You never know who you could meet second semester or what you will find to do that could totally change your life and experience around!
“When the idea of [transferring] was first brought up by a friend, I was frankly offended. How could they even mention the t-word? How could they think I would just give up like that? The reason why it was, and still is, hard to conceptualize transferring, is because a part of me feels like I have failed. Not only at conquering first semester, but that I failed to make the right choice back when I had one. Don’t get me wrong, the t-word still makes me ache, but I’ve done extensive research and read about other peoples’ stories, and I have come to this conclusion: it’s OKAY to transfer. I haven’t failed, and I certainly wouldn’t be giving up. If anything, it would demonstrate my resilience in searching for what’s best for me.”
When my dad mentioned that maybe I should consider other schools, I yelled at him over the phone. I was so angry. How could he think that? But you know what, the people who are closest to you normally have pretty good intuition about what would be best for you. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself about failing to make the right choice - if all we had was ONE chance to make the right choice for everything we do, we would all be pretty unhappy...and stressed out more than we already are. Yes. It’s okay to transfer. If anything, making that choice to leave and start new is the hardest one to make, but oftentimes the best and the right one.
“I decided to take the spring semester off from school because I’d rather graduate late than miss more of my college experience due to COVID-19! I’ve realized that there is so much more to a liberal arts college experience than the classes themselves. It’s the day-to-day interactions -- procrastinating in the library with your best friends, sitting through multiple meals in the dining hall, heated discussions in class, forging connections with professors at office hours, staying up late chatting with roommates, dance parties in the bathroom and of course soccer games, going out, meeting people and so much more-- that I missed the most when I had Zoom classes last spring. Online school doesn’t help me grow and learn the way I should be in the “best four years of my life,” so I’m happy I’m taking time off (crossing my fingers that college will look a lot better by this fall). I’m a student athlete and since my fall season was cancelled, by taking a semester off I’ll be able to use my eligibility. I’m not sure what I’ll do for the next eight months, but I’m excited to see where my time off will take me and the adventures I’ll embark on!”
Dance parties in the bathroom are a must. If we can’t have those, there is no point in going to school! Seriously though, you are so right. While we go to school to learn and get an education, it wouldn’t be as fun without those silly traditions with your friends, going to games or spending hours in the dining hall for one meal - which, I have done and it is a dangerous never ending buffet. Especially in this case, you are a student athlete! It totally makes sense for you to save that eligibility time to use it when the world might be looking a little bit better. These times definitely make me wonder what I would be doing if I weren’t in a city with a billion things to do at all times…
“I transferred schools twice so I know a little about this...the biggest thing I think I would say is that there is nothing wrong with transferring! As a freshman I NEVER thought I would transfer and saw it as a negative thing for some reason.”
First of all, kudos to you for transferring twice. That couldn’t have been easy and it is really cool that you were able to work your butt off to finally get to where you felt most comfortable. In terms of that last sentence, I also never in a million years thought I would transfer. It wasn’t an option. It didn’t cross my mind. And you’re right, you’re not the only one who sees it as some negative thing as if it’s a failure or a let down. Why is that something that is engrained in all of our brains? News flash - IT’S NOT A NEGATIVE THING. IT’S TOTALLY NORMAL AND LIKE, ONE OF THE BEST OPPORTUNITIES EVER.
“I was absolutely miserable at my old school. Nothing seemed right -- I wasn’t making friends, my classes didn’t excite me, and I generally felt sad and out of place. When you find the right place for you, college or otherwise, you get a good feeling. Like a sigh of relief. When I transferred, I felt that. Everything started working out for me. It was like my life officially started.”
Miserable is not a fun feeling, but feeling relieved is a great one. And it’s true, when you are in the right place, you can truly feel it and good things just start happening. You get in your groove, meet good people, do awesome things. I think that another feeling that can arise when you are in a place you know isn’t meant for you is feeling stuck. Feeling like you aren’t progressing, like your friendships aren’t benefitting you, like your environment is toxic, like you are so far away from something new and exciting. Whether it’s literally stuck on a campus in the middle of nowhere, so far from a Chipotle and civilization or stuck in your social scene, stuck is a sucky feeling and I think that that is the ultimate signal of knowing when to move on. I know that for me, I have never felt more comfortable in a place besides my home than I have since moving to Boston for school.
“As a student who completed an Associate’s Degree at a community college before moving on to the University level, for both substantial economic and educational reasons, it was truly disheartening when the summer of the pandemic pushed its way into the Fall semester. It was at that moment, for the same educational and economic reasons that pushed me to CC, but also an added twist of being on the opposite coast from my school, that led me to taking a gap semester and eventually a gap year….It obviously was not fun being home. In a way I was used to doing school from home because I lived there and commuted during CC. On the other hand, however, the whole point of me working so hard at CC was to be able to get out of the house and move somewhere that would make my school and my lifestyle even more exciting. Needless to say, it’s been a bit of a drag. However, it has provided the opportunity for me to get a couple jobs and be focused on bulking up my savings so that when I eventually return to school (fingers crossed for Fall 2021) that I can be focused on my senior year and setting up my future post-college life. Although taking a gap year was nowhere near my radar at the beginning of March 2020, I think that the upsides of interning remotely at a Washington D.C. Communications position - an opportunity that wouldn’t normally have been open to me, spending more time with my local family and friends (albeit outside and 6 feet apart), along with the chance to save money and invest in myself have been big upsides that, if not for the stupid pandemic, would never have been afforded to me.”
I am a true believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason and that while things might not make sense in the moment, they will later on. You worked so hard to get to where you were and then all of a sudden, bam, the pandemic happens and ruins your plans and the experience that you worked toward. So frustrating. I get that. BUT the thing I love most about this submission is how you focused on the good. It’s so much easier said than done to look on the sunny side, especially in these times. But you did! You got to have an amazing work experience, spend time with your family and save up so that you can get back to school when the time allows it and have a fabulous time. I think that was a very mature decision and one that will benefit you down the road 500%. Super impressive.
When I first arrived at school, I was sure I would be graduating on the field one day. Not only was I surrounded by people that inspired me to become the best version of myself, but I was enthralled by a new city and all it had to offer. Even so, it’s no secret that people are constantly changing. I felt stuck in a major and career that just wasn’t clicking and found myself jealous of those who appeared so passionate and driven toward journalism in a way that I never could be. I knew I had to change something. In December of my sophomore year, I decided to look into a career in nursing. Though most people were surprised by this switch, I felt very secure in the change. It was something new, interesting and most importantly, something I could be proud of. Through trialling semesters of realization and growth, I have decided to transfer to pursue a career in nursing. Does this scare me? Of course. But perhaps that’s the point. I have come to realize that it’s not so much about the school or environment you are in that matters. Rather, it’s what the journey teaches you about yourself that does. This past year has shaken me to my core and shown me what I really want out of this life. At the end of the day, I want to help people and I will do just about anything it takes to get there. Yes, an amazing college experience in one spot would be ideal. But if there is anything we have all learned this past year it’s that life is not always kind, gentle and definitely not always ideal. So, we must dig deep within ourselves and ask what kind of future we want. I never thought I would be transferring. Not one bit. But here I am. And with it, I will create a future I am wildly passionate about.
Again, the notion of being stuck has come up. IT’S AN UNSETTLING FEELING! It’s so important to take that stuck-ness and run with it...run in the opposite direction and never look back! The part in this submission that says “though most people were surprised by this switch” brings up a crucial point in our growing up years...we have to stop caring about what other people think and do what is best for us. Only you know what the right decision is for you. If people are really surprised by the decisions you make that are best for you, maybe they don’t know you as well as you thought they did. And you’re right, life throws curveballs at us that are less than ideal and that steer away from our plan. We need to stop making these five year plans that have our lives detailed out down to the wallpaper we want in our guest bathroom in our adult house - that’s me. I have that planned out. - You learn so much about yourself when you go through stuck moments and big changes and it’s valuable information that you will be grateful you discovered. From the sounds of it, you are going to be the best nurse ever. I am so excited and proud of you!