For the second installment of Student Athlete College Confessions, I wanted to have it focused on the mental health of the athletes. I have chosen to highlight four submissions, all ranging in length. I feel as if people see student athletes as these magical, superheroes who can somehow perfectly juggle all aspects of life while killing the game, literally. Or at least, that’s how I see them. But, like one athlete said, it’s not all sunshines and rainbows, and it’s important to recognize that.
“Honestly, yes I have thought about quitting during my sophomore year. I wasn’t in the right mental space going into my sophomore year and trying to tackle the sport as well as academics was way more challenging than my freshman year. Mental illness is definitely something athletes face in and out of their sports - I faced it. But every time I did consider quitting, the thought of losing my teammates kept me in it. There is something crazy about swimmers. I mean, you have to be a little crazy to hop in a cold pool in the morning and then again in the afternoon and essentially race yourself…”
First of all, I am the worst swimmer and envy anyone who can tread water for more than 30 seconds without feeling fatigued. Second of all, I think that what this athlete is saying is really important because most of the time what matters the most is the people you surround yourself with. If you are on a team where you are struggling and have teammates that don’t have your back, make you laugh or push you to do better, what’s the point? It’s going to be 10 times harder for you to want to stay. A lot of times, the hardest part about leaving somewhere or something is the people you are leaving behind. Sure, the sport is important, but I know that for me, one of the main reasons why I always continued to play sports growing up was because I loved having a team to be with and see outside of school. The people make the difference.
“The hardest thing about being an athlete is understanding that every single sport requires some level of anxiety in order to perform your best. You need adrenaline and high stakes in order to really be competitive, so it’s easy for those nerves to get out of control and affect your life outside of sports as well.”
I can definitely see how this is true. Whether you realize it or not, whether it’s performance anxiety or pre-game jitters, you are going to feel some sort of anxiety while competing. And for student athletes, whose lives are built around the game, it’s hard to shut off that switch from the field or the pool to school or home.
“It is so worth it, even though at times it may be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. When I first came to ***, I struggled a lot. It certainly was not all the rainbows and butterflies that I had painted it out to be, and I worked so hard day in and day out to just not see any results. This was beyond frustrating for me, as I felt that I wasn’t finding success on the field or in the classroom either. It took me failing over and over again to realize that sometimes you have to take a step back, breathe and work SMARTER, not necessarily harder. There has to be a PURPOSE in everything you do, and more importantly (this is so cliche) you have to fall in love with the process, even if it means tripping and stumbling on your way up to the top. Knowing this, and setting small goals rather than always focusing on the big picture really changed my mindset to always take it day by day with gratitude leading you. I started writing in a journal everyday of small wins for the day or things that happened that I could look back and smile about. Some days this list was long and some days I had to scrounge for words, but this really trained my brain to try and see the good in everyday, and I feel that I have had such a better outlook as a teammate and a leader because of it. At the end of the day, I have nothing to thank but the hard practices, the bench sitting, the failing of tests, and even though it sounds weird, you have to step back and realize that because of those things, you are a better person today.”
Work smarter, not harder. I am putting that on a pillow. Man that is a good quote. I am all about the attitude of focusing on the good and rewarding yourself for the little things. Why this athlete writes in a journal marking those small wins is exactly why I Take 5 Write 5 every night before I go to bed. Whether it’s writing down that you made your own pizza for dinner or that you set a new record in the game, it’s just about writing down something that made you smile and that you can be proud of. And on days where maybe you lost a really big game or are just feeling no motivation, it’s so important to have a journal filled with dozens of happy moments to remind you why you do the things you do and why you play the game that you love.
For this next one, I am going to share it just as this athlete shared it with me…
Little did I know what was to come after signing a national letter of intent to play Division I soccer. I was full of hope, because it was the beginning of a journey I’ve dreamed of experiencing since I can remember.
Hailing from a town with more cows than people, I built a name for myself at home. As I got older, I wanted to experience life away from my town. But as preseason rolled around, I wanted the exact opposite. My optimism seized upon the realization of what I was leaving behind.
Overcome with emotions when I arrived on campus for preseason, I would have to immerse myself into a new environment I was not yet cut out for. I struggled to find confidence within myself, thus the onset of my depression and anxiety.
I was not the player I used to be. I received little to no playing time and struggled to make connections with my teammates. What was seen as a new beginning felt like an inescapable trap. There was no way out, and there was no way up for that matter. I lost my drive to excel in the classroom, and soon began to fall out of love with the game I had grown up with.
Despite the loss of my identity, my new-found appreciation for home grew ever more. I left school whenever my schedule allowed me in order to reunite with the people and animals I loved most.
“The girl that plays with her hair on fire,” as my dad would say, no longer believed in her own abilities. I allowed the criticism, doubts, and smoke of my own fire to cloud my vision.
Amongst my search to find myself again, I realized the root of my problems did not stem from the lack of trust I had within myself. The truth had come out during my sophomore year in college.
I had considered taking my own life, rather than wanting to continue on with my sport.
However, I began to realize where my inspiration and confidence came from; something that was not just myself, but through my younger brother. My little brother has been my purpose all along. When I left home, I left him. I left the one person who kept me grounded to the roots of my core, and to the game I devoted my life towards.
To this day, I have set my focus towards playing for him. I let his love and belief in myself guide me to be not only the player, but the person I am today. I found my purpose through my brother, and my passion for the beautiful game has only grown since then.
Beautiful. I have no words other than I am so proud of you.