Well folks, the day has finally come. The era of braces, training bras, puberty and first crushes has come to an end. Middle school was so last decade and if my twenties are anything like the years when I was 11-13, we are all going to be in for a treat. I decided to put together a list of 10 things I learned before I turned 20, something I could pass along to the younger generation. I’m an elder now, so listen up and pay some respect.
1. It’s okay to cry because it’s over AND smile because it happened
Normally, a version of this saying is something that a 13-year-old girl would use as the caption of her Bat Mitzvah Insta pic. Thankfully, I don’t fall into that category. But, I did cry and smile at my Bat Mitzvah. I was up on the Bimah in front of probably 100 people, talking about my Grandpa who had passed away about five years before. I had never cried about him dying, even when it had happened. I think I was too young to process it. So of course, what better day to full-on ugly, hysterical cry in front of all your loved ones and friends? I remember feeling myself get choked up during one word and then I lost it. I kept trying to push through and keep reading but it was no use. Thankfully, my lovely father and sister came up and helped me through it. Needless to say, I cried before it was even over and smiled because it happened.
2. Be a perfectionist, but not a perfect perfectionist
If you looked at my driver’s license you would see the following: blue eyes, blonde hair, female, organ donor and perfectionist. It’s just what I am. Whether it was crying after losing soccer games because I blamed the goals scored on myself because I was the center back or crying over getting worked up about homework in the seventh grade, I beat myself up. I don’t like to mess up. And when I do, the sky might as well be falling. The world as I know it might as well be ending and I might as well be in prison or something because in my head I did a horrible, awful thing. News flash: you aren’t THAT important Megan. My gosh. I’ve been trying to be more relaxed with how I approach things and reflect. It’s definitely not easy but it has to be done. It’s okay to want to be good at something or even the best, if that’s going to help you grow as a person. But I’ve now come to learn that not everything works out the way you originally think they will, and a lot of times, it’s better the second time around.
3. Alone time is so, so valuable
I’ve always been the type of person who loves having a bunch of friends. I love talking to anyone and everyone. Heck, they can be a stranger and I will find something in common with them in a minute. When I was younger I was so consumed with making sure I had a playdate scheduled or a birthday party or a social event with friends. Now that I’m older, I think I have different priorities and ways I manage my time. College taught me this. Having a roommate and constantly being around people really makes you appreciate the hour or even 20 minutes alone in your room to play your music out loud or do whatever you want. Even being stuck at home during quarantine, I’ve been home alone once since we started almost a month and a half ago and it was for 20 minutes. I soaked it up. Unfortunately, that probably will never happen again. I find myself every day leaving the living room or the kitchen saying “I’m going to go sing in my room.” I go to my room, close my door, play my music out loud on my bed and just CHILL and SING. Take time for yourself people. It’s so important.
4. There is no point dwelling on the little things
You know how they introduce Mia Thermapolis in The Princess Diaries as The Princess (emphasis on the cess) of Genovia? Well, if it were a movie about me I would be introduced as The Queen (not princess) of Overthinking! It’s a super, super small island off the coast of Genovia and has a population of one: me. I overthink just about everything. Ordering at restaurants, scenarios with friends, scenarios with boys, literally anything. When I can’t fall asleep at night, I start thinking of things from years before because why not. It’s a curse. Please don’t do that. It really ages you. I’m really trying to work on it. I say to myself, Megan, shut up. And then I’m fine! You should really try it.
5. Sisters are better than misters
If you don’t have the absolute fortune of having a sister, I am sending my sincerest apologies. There is truly nothing like it. Double the clothes, double the drama, double the trouble! She is the one person that I can go to with just about anything and she will either talk me down and reassure me that I’m fine, or she’ll just tell me to shut up. So supportive! I don’t even mean that sarcastically. I truly have never had someone who is more of a cheerleader than my sister is to me. Whether it was sports, school, my writing, LITERALLY anything she always always ALWAYS has my back and stands up for me. I try and do the same but she definitely wins the gold medal. Oh, and we get to gossip all the time, which is a girl’s dream come true. Moral of the story is sisters are way better than misters: Why? Easy.
They are consistent and will always be there for you.
They don’t stay up until 3 am playing video games.
They make sure that Saturdays are for you, not the boys.
6. What I want in a relationship
Over the years I have learned what I want in a relationship, both friends and ~romantically. Ew I hate that word. As we grow up, friends change and people change. Looking back on past friendships I’ve had that aren’t still intact today, I realize that it’s because we were different in so many ways. Sometimes, that’s a good thing, a fun thing even. But other times, there are just way too many conflicting personality traits and opinions for it to be a healthy relationship. In a friend I want someone who is humble, independent, mature and genuine. Oh and funny. As for what I want in a boy? Where do I even begin? There has definitely been a lot of room for trial and error and I’ve definitely learned what I don’t want. As for what I do want? This isn’t a registration for eHarmony so I’m not going to put out an ad for the perfect boyfriend, but I’ve definitely done some self-reflecting both about friends and boys and finally feel confident in my instincts about them. But word to the wise, boys and girls, just be nice! That’s good enough for me!
7. Money does not grow on trees
Listen up kids, listen up real well. There comes a time in life when you realize how expensive everything really is. You want pizza for dinner? Cough up a 20. Oh you want to go get ice cream too? That’ll be another 6. AND you want to get Disney Plus so we can watch all your favorite childhood movies? Fine. Hand over 13 a month. I didn’t realize how much all of this really added up until I got my first job and started getting a paycheck. I was appalled at how much gets taken out for taxes and even more appalled at how fast I can spend money. So, I started a system. Paychecks would be deposited into the bank, and babysitting money or any cash I got would be split in half: half goes into the spending wallet and half goes into the savings wallet. After a while, I had saved 700 dollars for a rainy day. I had a job through high school and I got a job when I went to college too. It feels good to make your own money and not have to rely on your parents for every little thing. All I’m trying to say is, go get a job. Stop asking your parents for money. Be a grown up. Buy your own pizza!
8. Go with the flow, but don’t get caught up in it
When you’re hanging out with a big group of people, sometimes it’s just easier to go with the flow. Don’t make a fuss, do what everybody else wants, you can get Chinese food next time. When you go to a new place, surrounded by new people everywhere, it’s especially hard to not go with the flow because you just want to fit in. Warning: it’s way too easy to get caught up in the scene and not realize that the things you have been doing are not things you actually wanted to do. It happens. So, just make sure to ground yourself every now and then and make sure that you are living a life that YOU want to live. That got so inspirational and deep so fast.
9. Try new things
I don’t really like change or venturing out of my safe little bubble. I order the same thing from every restaurant I have ever been to, and if it’s a new place I will look up the menu beforehand so I have an idea of what to order. I don’t like dairy or seafood, which really limits my options. I like candy, chicken nuggets, and cereal. This is going to be the decade that I acquire a more mature palette and become more adventurous with my eating habits. Do not invite me to Paris to eat escargot because I won’t even get on the plane, but maybe I’ll try mozzarella sticks! Yeah I know, I’ve never had one. Let’s not talk about it. All I’m saying is it’s important to try new things and step out of your comfort zone, whether it’s socially or in terms of a menu.
10. What it means to be content and happy
I know this may sound like something that doesn’t really need to be taught or learned, but there's a difference between feeling happy and feeling content. To me, happiness is something that can appear and vanish within a matter of minutes. You could be happy because your team is winning and then sad because you lost in the last minute of the game. You could be happy about a meal or a TV show. I’m so fortunate to have had so many things to be happy about growing up, and continue to have today. But for the first time in my life, I finally feel content. I feel content with where I am in life both physically and in terms of accomplishments and things I’ve been working toward. I feel older, more mature and independent. I’ve looked back on past decisions I’ve made, whether good or bad, and have made peace with them. Once this craziness is all said and done, I can’t wait to get back to school and my friends and continue this stage of my life.
Teenagers, they’re crazy. They’re hormonal and awkward. They’re cocky and confused. They’re excited and nervous. They are unpredictable. But something tells me that none of that will change as I enter my twenties. Bye-bye braces and acne (hopefully), helllooooo to the decade where it’s alllll going to happen. I’m ready for you!
