Last night I had a dream that starred my favorite male soccer player. Christian Pulisic and some of his buddies were at the airport and were in line ahead of me at security and bag check. Being the smooth talker I am, I said something and we started chatting. One thing led to another and he was putting my cleats into his bag to hold onto. That’s literally it. I don’t know. Don’t ask questions. I’m not. 

I woke up this morning at 8:30, which is normally a typical time for me to wake up. But ever since quarantine, I have been sleeping in a little later. But not today. It’s like my body knew I had to be up for some reason. I got dressed to do a little workout in my living room and my mom was flipping through the channels on the TV. I took a quick phone break and saw on Facebook a reminder that the Bundesliga, a professional football association in Germany, was returning this morning. 

“MOM. PUT ON FOX SPORTS 1. RIGHT NOW.” 

She did and she saw that it was two random German league teams and put back Mr Holland’s Opus. 

“Mom. It’s not just any team. This was the team that Christian Pulisic used to play for.” 

“Who?” 

“I’m going downstairs.”

Growing up, every Saturday morning there would usually be soccer on the TV. We really didn’t keep up with the teams or care much for them, quite frankly, but soccer was a background noise in the house on the weekends.

Finally, back to my roots. I felt at ease suddenly. Can I mention that I am scared of my basement and never go down there by myself, so for me to sprint down there, slam the door and relax without looking behind me every five seconds to see if someone is coming out of the boiler room means that this was important. I was just sitting on the couch, watching some soccer, living life. But two seconds later I felt antsy and felt like I needed to run. So, what better view to run on your treadmill to than soccer? Sure beats the Food Network which has been my go-to (Bobby Flay and Ree Drummond I didn’t mean that you know I will be back tomorrow.) 

While I was so excited to watch the game, I couldn’t help but notice some major differences. 

For starters, there were no fans. That is something I have heard a lot of people be upset about, the fact that they might not get to see their favorite teams play, but I would much rather be able to watch them on TV than not at all. Besides, fans are ROWDY. I got to hear the movie without the soundtrack. Let me explain.

Everything being said on the field they might as well have been saying to me. After a goal was scored, instead of the insane chants from the superfans, you can hear the five people on the sidelines clapping. I also swore I heard some chanting so maybe there was a recording or the few people there did it? You can also hear the echo of the ball being passed, striked, whiffed. You can hear the echo of the teammate reactions to a header or a solid play. 

My FAVORITE part about the entire game? When they scored, (Dortmund) which they did four times, the players had to obviously alter their celebration routines. One player just stood by himself rocking side to side, dancing with some mates who were feet away. Don’t worry, I provided footage down below. Another player elbow-bumped some of his teammates who were around him. One of the guys put his hand on the shoulder of the player who scored and then moved it back like it was lava, remembering that they probably shouldn’t be touching each other. 

With that being said, I still have some questions. 

For starters, where can I get one of those stylish black and yellow Dortmund face masks? They were très chic. Again, I got you down below.

Second, the amount of contact that players have with their opponents between tackling for the ball and guarding has got to be the same amount of contact, if not more, than a simple celebratory hug. Funny I should say that because after doing some research online, I found that former Bayern Munich star Stefan Effenberg made the exact same point in an article discussing the issues with starting back up again so soon. Great minds think alike...I’m just saying. 

Obviously, the league is following health regulations. They bumped up the number of substitutes allowed during a game from 3 to 5 and the locations of the games are even allowed to change if need be. I’m sure they are constantly doing testing and when you come off the field, you need to wear a mask. During the game, they zoomed in on a player pulling down his mask to take a drink of water and then pulling it back up, with commentators saying “now that is how you drink water.” I didn’t realize that that close-up was necessary but it it shows people how to use a mask, so be it.

The coaches on the sidelines sat six feet apart and wore masks, as did the training team, subs and the sideline referees. Sometimes I noticed a coach not wearing one, but that was probably so they could call out instruction.

At the end of the game, the Dortmund players thanked the nonexistent fans, facing what is known as “the yellow wall" in their home stadium. Waving, bowing. They even lined up, did a jog and brought their arms in the air and shouted. Seemed like a ritual that they figured could not be halted now just because of the circumstances. 

They were saluting their loyal fans at home. Looks like I’ll become one. 

It’s been a long two months without sports, but they are slowly but surely starting to return, even if we have to start fan-girling over teams in a different country. Soccer is soccer. Sports are sports. 

And if you aren’t a soccer person, can I recommend you start watching? For your own sanity?