This weekend was a big weekend for me. It finally happened. Yes, I put on jeans, but no that’s not what I’m talking about. This weekend, I had my first quarantine cry. 

There, I said it. Feels great to get that off my chest. I’m honestly surprised it didn’t happen sooner, considering I have been inside my house for almost four weeks straight and my family is driving me up the wall (but if you happen to ask them, they’ll say that I am the one driving THEM up the wall. Lies.) Am I late to the game? Has everybody already had their first quarantine cry? Rats. 

Maybe you cried because your family is driving you up the wall too. 

Or, maybe you cried because your sister ate the last of the peanut butter and you know your mom won’t be going to the store for another week and you are obsessed with peanut butter toast. 

Maybe you cried because you know someone who has been affected by this virus. 

Or, maybe you just cried. 

My reason for shedding a few tears had nothing to do with anything above. It had to do with exercise. Now, I’ll have you know that I’ve been working out every single morning since being home and I couldn’t feel better. The working out part wasn’t the issue. Here’s what happened. 

All I wanted to do was walk with a friend, on opposite sides of the road of course. And I was all for that idea. Get your steps in while talking to somebody else besides your immediate family so that you could talk to them about your immediate family? Count me in. It was all set up and my friend was about to come over when I got a text saying that their mom wanted to know whether or not I had been social distancing. 

I have been, without a doubt. It should’ve been an easy text back and we would’ve been on our merry way. But, for some reason, I froze. I started second guessing what I’ve been doing. 

Well, I mean, technically I DID leave the house a few times to pick up food or to take a walk with my Grandma. 

Should I say that? Or do they mean have I been recklessly hanging out with people? Because I haven’t. 

What if we do go on a walk, six feet apart of course, and then my friend gets sick somehow? Will that be my fault? 

That last one could’ve been the hypochondriac in me talking, but nevertheless, welcome to the endless train of thought that is my brain. 

I totally understand how reasonable it was for my friend’s mom to ask if we have been social distancing. 100%. I would’ve done the same thing. But for some reason, it made me feel weird. It made me start to second guess my actions over the past three and a half weeks. 

I had responded back confirming that we had been social distancing, and turned the question around, asking if they had been too. But then I just sat on my living room floor, contemplating what I would do next. Would I go on the walk? Or should I cancel? 

I felt the tears coming. I’m not sure why but I just started to cry. I got so overwhelmed and uncomfortable so fast. I said, I’m so sorry. I just had a bit of a freak out. Can we postpone the walk? Of course, my friend was understanding. I will say though, it felt good to cry.

The moral of the story is to never go on walks ever again and to stay inside your house and eat Doritos for every meal and watch Sonny with a Chance because it was just added to Disney Plus. 

No. Disregard all of that. The moral of the story is that it’s OKAY to have a two-minute moment of hesitation and worry and fear and nerves. Everybody is in the same boat. This pandemic has affected everybody in some way, even if it isn’t with the virus itself. 

I had reached out to followers of the blog and asked them how they have been feeling since being home and what they are doing to stay relaxed. 

Some are more stressed at home than at school because of the workload and being with their families 24/7. Some are just more anxious and stressed in general. Some are having crazy dreams - anyone else? I know I am.  

And everyone has their own coping methods too. Some are going on eight mile walks every other day to keep the “quarantine quince” away. That was a good response, I enjoyed that. Others are working out early, baking, cooking, running, stretching, showering and taking time away from their phones. 

Whatever it may be, keep doing it. Eight mile walks though…I think I’ll postpone that one too.