Sunday, my class went on a field trip to Gettysburg. When you hear Gettysburg, you might think “Bloodiest Battle” of the Civil War. Or, Gettysburg…hmm….Lincoln? Or. In my case, you might think: Gettysburg…hmm…Andy Bernard?

My Geology of War class took a trip to the Gettysburg National Military Park. In order to spare yourself of the 2 hour long bus ride that had an insufficient amount of air conditioning, outlets and food (that was totally a me issue), I have something you could do.

Might I recommend simply watching The Office Season 8 Episode 8: Gettysburg?

That’s exactly what I did the night before the big trip, as one should. I was filled with excitement watching Andy Bernard give his colleagues a tour of the park. He’s so intelligent. Did you know he went to Cornell?

Andy had made the office matching hot pink hats that said “DM does GB” on them. Once we were on the bus, I asked Frank, my professor, firstly, if he has ever seen The Office. He said no. I’m not going to get into that right now. I then asked why he didn’t make us all matching hats and to say he was disappointed that he didn’t come up with the idea on his own is an understatement. Next time. Looks like I’m retaking Geology of War.

Part of me was confused as to why I never received a permission slip to bring home to have signed by my parents for homework points, to then cut off the signed part at the bottom of the page along the dotted like and bring it back to Frank. Then I remember I’m technically supposed to be an adult now and that my parents probably couldn’t care less about how I spend my Sundays, even if it was being historically and geologically stimulated.

The whole ride up, I couldn’t stop geeking about how we would be going to the same place that The Office was filmed. I had been to Scranton before and I don’t think that I was that excited. Everyone was probably annoyed but who cares I was happy leave me alone.

Like any place I go to, the first two stops were: restroom and gift shop. I can’t go anywhere without buying a souvenir that I don’t need. In the fifth grade, my class went to the United Nations. I bought a little Israeli flag that stood on a base. 11-year-old me definitely felt like I was a mature Jewish woman making my ancestors proud. It was three bucks.

Due to my excessive amount of cheer and giddiness, you’ll understand my sheer disappointment and sadness when I found nothing Office related in the gift shop. After taking a lap around once, I decided I had to ask an employee. It couldn’t be true. I must’ve walked past it.

I walk up to the fudge lady, the lady selling fudge at the gift shop at the military park because what else, and asked “Did you know there was an episode of The Office that was shot here?”

She did.

“Do you guys sell anything Office related?”

“We don’t.”

“Well, you should.”

I was distraught. I figured we might as well hit the buses and turn back around. I walk up to Frank and tell him the bad news. “Frank, can we go back home now?” He said no. I’m not really sure what response I was expecting from him.

What a bogus gift shop. They had an overwhelming amount of mugs, overpriced glass-bottled soda (which I bought because duh), toy guns and confederate outfits (which I had to dress up in because duh) and just another history-book author sitting at a book-signing table watching people walk by and not ask for a signature. Sad.

The trip itself consisted of 10 stops. We saw Lee’s Monument, the Pennsylvania Monument, the place where the Confederates held their line, then we drove to the opposite side to see where the Union held theirs and a bunch of other cool significant educational places.

We drove by McDonald’s and Wendy’s too. Frank said those weren’t there during the war.

There was a random guy walking along the fields. He was just your average Joe, mid-twenties, glasses, probably hasn’t been to pilates recently, had a notebook and looked eager to learn. But, of course I was like,

“Guys. OH MY GOD GUYS. LOOK.”

My friends were like WHAT WHAT WHAT?!

“GUYS LOOK IT’S LINCOLN.”

My class hates me.

Our first stop was at a railroad. First thing that Frank said was, “Do not fall over the ridge. That would be much less than average. It would probably suck.” It really would.

Did you know that the rock along the railroad there is red and is called Sandstone? And that as it goes along the bridge, it turns gray and is called Mudstone? I wish I could give you more information than that. But I can’t.

Speaking of knowledge, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who knows so much about history and war as much as Frank. He was so happy to take us on this trip and he’s so happy to teach us. It was a Sunday for crying out loud and he chose to spend 10 hours of it with us. He’s one of the good ones. Strangers on the trip were even asking him questions and he was so excited to answer. Kind of like me except not because I am not that knowledgable about anything.

I almost forgot. We saw dinosaur prints. I sat my butt down on the very surface that a dinosaur once stepped on. Who else can say that? Huh?

Between getting cozy with Honest Abe, literally following in Andy Bernard’s footsteps and learning a ton from the best of the best, Frank, I’d say it was a great day.

Boy. The three of them in a room together. That would be something else. A lot of rock talk. I’m sure.

Enjoy the photos. Click on them to go through them all.

Rock on.