The Tale of The Pre-Pubescent 18-Year-Old Girl
Middle school is a period of time that everybody should be able to Pass Go and Collect $200.
Nobody should have to endure the sweat-smell-filled hallways and stuffy classrooms or the awkward stages. I thought I was out of that god-awful phase of my life, but suddenly I feel as if I’m back in the halls of Robert E. Bell Middle School with braces, red dip-dyed hair and peace-sign covered clothing. It’s as if I am going through puberty all over again. * Brb as I go cry in my room while I listen to Drag me Down by One Direction*
There are a lot of similarities between college and middle school: new school, new friends, new boys, mediocre dining halls, cliques, awkward stages and more.
It’s like I am a pre-pubescent 18-year-old. I might as well be 13 all over again. Or 11, or 12. None are preferred over the other. I have awful common sense, am blinded by the constant worrying and self-conscious spell that I am going through and I spend my Friday nights with myself, Austin (no not my boyfriend, my stuffed animal panda) and Netflix.
My acne, my mood and my hormones are out of control.
I have been fortunate enough to never have needed Accutane or any serious acne medication. So although I don’t feel it, in retrospect, I have been blessed with the gene that doesn’t result in chronic year-round acne.
However, almost every summer since I was 13 I have had cystic acne on my chin every summer. How much grosser could that word sound. Cystic. Bleh. All of a sudden, I have been getting, what in my eyes is awful, acne and I can’t seem to rid of it. Self confidence has been going through the ground, not the roof.
I was an avid sweater. A sweat machine, if you will, all throughout middle school. I now realize that that was probably in part to hormones along with my weird histamine intolerance. I remember my first sweat stain like it was yesterday…
I was in the fourth grade. I was wearing a thin blue graphic-tee with the American Idol logo on it. We were having a party. I don’t remember the reason, but did you really need to have a reason to have a class party in the fourth grade? No. It was nearing the end and all of a sudden I felt an overwhelming sense of wetness under my armpits. I go to the bathroom and see two huge sweat stains. I was scared. I panicked. I didn’t know how to deal with this. So, naturally, I ask my teacher for two pieces of string so I can tie my sleeves up, just like I did at soccer games.
I have since learned to deal with my sweat stains, but I now find myself sweating in my sleep. Not fun. But also, that could be in part to the aggressive heating system in the dorm.
It doesn’t take much for me to cry these days. It’s like Marley and Me is on repeat in my mind. I went home last weekend and met up with my friend from high school and her parents. It took five minutes for me to be laugh-crying after I said that my sister has a boyfriend, a fabulous group of friends and goes snowmobiling on the weekends. It’s like she is apart of 90210 or One Tree Hill - does she even GO to school?
And boys? Gosh. Could I BE more awkward? At this rate, it looks like it’s just going to be me and Austin forever. Which is totally fine, it is. Ideal? Not necessarily. Will I settle? Right now, I don’t see the other option so, yes.