Valentines Day. Oh, Valentines Day.

A day that I feel almost everyone has bipolar attitudes toward. I really thought things would’ve progressed by now. Alas, they have not.

In elementary school, it was a day to look forward to. Everyone got valentines from everyone and you decorated little mailboxes to put them in. In first grade I wore my tights with different color hearts and purple Uggs and the fact that I didn’t have a boyfriend from that outfit alone still blows my mind but here we are.

In middle school, it was just. Well. Lots happened.

Middle school was an awkward time for everybody. People started “going out” and “dating”. I for one, was never the type to have a young love, or an old love, because once again, here we are, alone.

But regardless, it was a time when boys starting getting heart necklaces and putting them in the girl that they loved’s locker. Or for me, a time to watch a boy put a heart necklace in a girl’s locker that happened to be right next to mine. Are you sure you got the right locker number sir? Hm. Okay.

Middle school was also the only time I can say I had a boy on Valentines Day. That’s right folks. I had a boy. But not just one. I had two boys the Valentines Day of the sixth grade. But don’t be fooled. It wasn’t like that.

I don’t mean to toot my horn but, these two boys fought over me. Now, these two particular boys were not really boys that I hung out with. Perfectly nice, for sure. Just not my speed. But we don’t discriminate against chocolate givers and card writers, now do we?

Bachelor #1 gave me a hand-written letter in Tech class. It was written in pencil and folded up. I don’t remember exactly what it said but it had to be something along the lines of “I like you”. So heartfelt. Unfortunately I didn’t feel the same way. I probably didn’t handle it great, because you know me, Little Miss Heartbreaker over here.

Bachelor #2 who was in my core classes was one that I always caught staring at me. Staring at me so much in fact, to the point where I had to bring it up to our TA and tell him to knock it the heck off. I like attention but not that much attention.

He gave me a card that had cartoon chocolates on it that were talking saying things like “be mine” and all the cheesy cheese stuff. He wrote something in it that I also assume said something along the lines of “I like you”. But what made Bachelor #2 stand out the most was the fact that he gave me the rocks. The bling.

A ring.

He handed it to me outside of my locker. It was in a plastic ball, fresh out of a coin-operated machine. It was something else. I said thank you and that was that.

A girl I was sitting next to on the bus broke it by accident. Cheap.

That was the last time a boy ever bought me anything for Valentines Day, even if that last thing was 25 cents. And quite frankly, it’s sad. Do you see how I looked in middle school? Did it seriously not get any better?

Boys, if you’re out there. Feel free to reach out. I don’t bite.

Serious inquiries only.