At many schools, Greek Life is a major factor in social life and making friends. Or rather, making sisters.

How do you make a sister? I’m asking for a friend. Because I have never been nor will I ever be a sister to anyone else but my biological twin sister.

I have never had trouble making friends and I have never had an issue with self confidence. Not in an overzealous obnoxious way, but I have never felt insecure when it came to meeting and greeting new people, or had to worry about trying to make a great first impression.

So when it came time to rush, naturally, I wasn’t nervous at all. I went into it with a very relaxed attitude. I knew that everything was going to work out because I had gotten close with some of the girls in the sororities that I had wanted to be apart of. Or, so I thought.

Girls can be a bit much. Coming from a girl, I can say that. Boys, shut up.

But it’s true.

Girls are very good at putting on a show. And that’s what sorority recruitment is - it’s a big broadway show. Everyone is all dressed up, made up, getting ready for a new crowd of people every few hours. Butterflies in the stomach and nervous sweat dripping from your armpits. During rush, everyone turns into Lin Manuel Miranda (no disservice to Lin Manuel Miranda of course).

Throughout my week of rushing, I was miserable but confident. I assumed that everything was going to work out the way it was supposed to. And in my mind, that way was something different than what actually ended up happening.

I was the only one out of my friends that got dropped from the sorority that at the time I could so perfectly see myself in. It was shocking initially; I couldn’t help but think about what I did wrong. What did I say? Did I smell like BO? Was it my outfit?

A million thoughts were running through my mind and all I could think about was how I wasn’t going to be with my friends. I also couldn’t stop thinking about the so called friends I had made that were already apart of that chapter, who had been so kind and amazing for months. Was it all an act? Were they ever really my friend? What changed?

Long story short, I was dropped by one and told that “this place could be your home,” by the other, only to find that neither of them would be.

That sting of rejection was hard at first. Once you mess with a girl’s confidence, it’s hard to gain that back. How could every single one of my friends have gotten accepted except for me? Was I not normal enough? Nice enough? Pretty enough? Rich enough? Was it because I didn’t love going out or because I don’t like getting around?

I will probably never know. And not for nothing, I don’t need to know.

People keep telling me what I did was a very mature decision, and by that I mean walking away. I’m not sure if it was mature, but it was just something that felt right for me. Regardless of what sorority I could have ended up in, I would have dropped it. I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn’t be able to handle that sort of regiment and togetherness.

While all my friends are going out every day and every night, barely having time to sleep, my day ends at 6:00 p.m., with me and Parks and Rec. in my bed.

All I can say is I am very well-rested and thoroughly enjoying learning about the city of Pawnee.