When I was five, Webkinz were all the rave. My first one was a pink poodle named Rachel and I got her for my birthday. On random occasions besides birthdays or holidays, my sister and I would go to the toy store in the town over, Try and Buy, and each get to pick another one out. My parents couldn’t beat the 10 buck deal that would keep their young and restless twin girls occupied. There was one that they never had in the store that I had always dreamed of having - The Panda.

A year or two later, they were just as popular, if not more. We went to our best friend’s birthday party, the favors were the mini panda Webkinz. I was in awe. It was the perfect one to add to the collection. I carried it around with me for awhile, as I did with whichever one was most recently purchased. I want to say I named it Oreo, naturally, but I can’t remember.

My Mom’s best friend is the manager of a furniture store called Abode in Porstmouth. We’ve been going there every year when we visit and we always get random items that we would’ve never needed. When we were younger, they sold Webkinz. He gave my sister a snake and myself a chicken. It was the coolest thing; they weren’t sold near me and I couldn’t wait to show my friends. I was probably eight.

I am now 18, ten years later, and I encountered a similar experience last week when we went to visit Portsmouth for the holidays. We were looking around the store and I was drawn to the stuffed animal section.

I was suddenly taken back to Try and Buy, picking out a Webkinz while in the oh so humble Abode furnishing store. After assessing each for fluffy and soft qualities, I settled for the panda. It was love at first touch. I was suddenly 10 again and all the worries I had were gone.

Interestingly enough, I have acquired an obsession with the band who stole every middle school girl’s heart except mine:  One Direction. I play the songs on repeat to put me in a good mood, specifically Drag Me Down and Best Song Ever. I have rewatched all their music videos on YouTube and all the Ellen interviews I could find. And, embarassingly enough, I have Googled shirtless photos of Harry Styles. Sue me.

I cuddle my panda, which I have named Austin, every night when I sleep and I listen to 1D several times a day. Odd, but it seems like I am sort of regressing into my childhood, as if my “adult life” that I only just begun is too much to manage at the time being.

If only the toughest things in life were deciding which stuffed animal to get and wondering which band member would be most compatible to date you based off of a TigerBeat Magazine quiz.