Along with sharks, a fear that I have always had is throwing up. Not just the action of doing it, but the smell, the sound, the idea. Emetophobia is the correct term.

The last time I really threw up threw up was when I was seven. It was winter and I was dressed in my thermal pink and white nightgown. All I remember was waking up, looking at the clock, which read 11:00 p.m., and throwing up over my left arm and all over my comforter. I vividly remember sitting in the hallway with the lights on sitting against the wall waiting for my parents to remake my bed.

From that night on, in 2007, I didn’t throw up again until 2016. And even then, I wouldn’t count it as a real throw up. It was nothing, really. But traumatizing nevertheless, for I was in my shower mid-shampoo when I thought I was literally going to die and be found naked with Taylor Swift blasting from my phone.

I went nine years without throwing up. A truly amazing feat.

Last night I had a dream in which I had to run to different bathrooms to find an open stall so that I could puke. I ended up finding one right next to this girl from my high school, who also happened to be throwing up. When I say I was puking, I mean I was literally blowing chunks. My mouth’s diameter felt like it was the size of a basketball and it seemed as if it was never-ending. I woke up and cleared my throat, thinking that it was happening in real life.

Some people call throwing up purging. Purgers, sometimes having a bad connotation. But that was literally what I was doing.

When people dream about throwing up, it indicates a couple of things.

1. There is something in your life that brings you negative energy and makes you feel bad

2. There is something or someone that you should remove from your life because it causes you pain and bad feelings

3. That you should leave your past behind and move on

4. That a woman has a gynelogical issue or a possible sexually transmitted disease *

*it’s safe to say we can omit #4, but interesting for sure

It’s so fascinating to me how our minds input such metaphorical things into our dreams, and if we are lucky enough to remember them, we have to decipher the meaning in the morning.

It’s as if my subconcience is telling me: Megan, let ‘er rip. Get it out. Flush the toilet and then go brush your teeth.

Whether it’s real or imaginery, never, ever forget to brush your teeth.